Parent Resources

Regulation occurs when we create a felt sense of safety in the body, soothing the fight-or-flight response to danger that activates in the lower areas of the brain. These lower brain regions communicate to the full body through the ventral vagus nerves, which connect to all major organs to inform our physiological responses to emotional activation. Since the vagus nerves operate as a two-way communication system, it means that not only does the brainstem danger response speak directly to the body, the body can also speak directly to the brainstem. This makes physical regulation in the body our most powerful tool in communicating with our lower brain function, and how we move, breathe, and sense with our body can inform our brain with the felt sense of danger or safety.

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A simple example of self-regulation is deep breathing; when we give a long, slow exhale our lungs trigger specialized internal sensors that communicate safety directly to our brains. In fact, nearly any activity that we might use to soothe a crying infant can also regulate our own brainstems. When babies cry, they are operating from a reptilian response to danger, seeking help and comfort from their parents as a life-saving survival mechanism. Older children and adults can fulfill this same function for their own nervous systems by soothing their bodies with a gentle voice, rocking back-and-forth, hold a hand on their chest, and focusing on the five senses of touch, sight, smell, sound, and taste to soothe the automatic nervous system. By regulating the body, the brainstem survival response can ease into a state of comfort and safety, and we can once again utilize our full cognitive brain function to make new choices in the present situation.

Here is a list of techniques that can help you and your child regulate right now

Slow Deep Breath

Inhale in the nose for at least three seconds, and then exhale slowly out the mouth for at least five seconds.

Waterfall Breath

Stretch arms out wide to your sides, then slowly raise hands high over your head bringing your hands together during inhale. Slowing lower hands together in front of you while fluttering your fingers during slow exhale

Rise-and-Fall Breath

Lie down on the floor face up and place a stuffed animal on your stomach facing you. Watch the stuffed animal rise as you inhale, and then descend while you slowly exhale.

Pinwheel Breath

Hold a pinwheel with the spinning side facing you while you take a big inhale. Exhale with just enough force to spin the wheel while also attempting to make the pinwheel spin for as long as possible.

Horse Lips

Put your lips together and blow out so that your lips vibrate in a motorboat sound.

Hand on Heart

Place your hand on your heart as if singing the national anthem. You can also make small, gentle circles with your hand on your chest.

5-4-3-2-1

Focus your attention on 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

Listen to Music

Play gentle music to regulate if in a fight/flight state (hyper-arousal). Play motivating music to regulate if in a collapsed state (hypo-arousal).

Bounce on a yoga ball

Push hard against something very heavy (barely movable)

Take a bath or shower

Go for a walk or run outside

Engage in exercise or Yoga

Put a cold or warm washcloth on your face

Snuggle

Move your body in any way that feels good

Heart Breath

Rest one hand over your heart and rest the other hand over your tummy. Take a slow, deep breath with a long exhale.

Geiser Breath

Bring hands together at chest level during inhale. And raise hands together high above your head in a stretch, and then lower arms wide at your sides during exhale.

Rainbow Breath

Stretch arms out wide to your side, then slowly raise hands palm up high over your head bringing your hands together during inhale. Slowing lower hands wide at your sides palm down during a slow exhale.

Dragon Breath

Inhale deeply with your hands in a tight fist, then exhale while you make a growling sound and a ferocious face with your hands in a claw-like gesture.

Rocking

Rock your body slowly and gently, as if you were holding and soothing a baby.

Focus on the Senses

Focus your attention on one specific sense at a time (see, feel, hear, smell and taste). See how many different things you can notice only using one sense.

Draw the Feeling

What does your feeling look like? What colors does your feeling have?

Say What You Feel

Describe your current emotions (happy/mad/sad/scared/etc…) and your current body sensations (tight tummy, fluttery chest, hot face, heavy legs, etc)